Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
