based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
