are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
