is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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