This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
