dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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