So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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