she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
