so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
