Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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