I need help removing her.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
