problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
