Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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