i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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