how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
