I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
