Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
