Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
