we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Every concussion has its silver lining
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
