I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
