he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
