I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
