im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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