He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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