Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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