she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
