I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
