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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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