we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I DEMAND FORESKIN
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
