i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
people are starting to question the shark bite story
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
