you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
