I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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