Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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