Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
