Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
