My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
