I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
