Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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