Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
