sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
