is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
