shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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