We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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