Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
