And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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