We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
