i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
