Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
