i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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