youre lurking in front of me
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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