her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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