when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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