remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
